Living Between Two Worlds
For years, Jane thought she was just bad at life. In her early 30s, she was holding down a job, but every day felt like a battle. She could hyperfocus on spreadsheets for hours but forget to pay her phone bill. She could chat enthusiastically about her favorite books, then shut down in loud meetings. Friends told her she was either “too much” or “too quiet.” It wasn’t until she received a diagnosis of both autism and ADHD, often called AuDHD, that things finally made sense.
Jane learned that her struggles weren’t signs of laziness or weak willpower, but the result of living with two neurodevelopmental conditions that overlap in unique ways. If you are an adult with AuDHD or a parent raising neurodivergent children in Canada, this article will help clear up common myths. By addressing these misconceptions, you can gain clarity, reduce unnecessary worry, and focus on practical ways to support growth and well-being.
Myth 1: “It’s just being lazy or disorganized.”
Many adults with AuDHD hear this throughout their lives. The truth is that difficulties with organization, memory, and time management are linked to executive functioning differences. Both autism and ADHD affect these brain processes. A Canadian study found that children and youth with autism reported functional difficulties with memory and concentration at a rate of 22 percent, compared with only 4 percent in children without autism. Calling someone lazy ignores the neurological reality. Many with AuDHD spend enormous amounts of effort just to keep up with daily demands. Recognizing this difference allows for compassion and more effective support. For adults, these challenges often show up in the workplace. A manager might misinterpret forgetfulness, lateness, or difficulty switching between tasks as carelessness. In reality, the person is working against executive functioning differences that require extra strategies. Understanding this distinction shifts the focus away from blame and toward practical supports, such as clear expectations, reminders, and flexibility.
Myth 2: “You can’t have both autism and ADHD.”
For decades, professionals believed that autism and ADHD could not be diagnosed together. That thinking has changed. In 2013, the DSM-5, the main diagnostic manual used in North America, officially allowed both diagnoses. Research now shows that between 50 and 70 percent of individuals with autism also present with ADHD symptoms. This overlap is not rare. It reflects how traits from both conditions can exist side by side, creating a unique blend of challenges and strengths.
Myth 3: “People with AuDHD can’t succeed at work or relationships.”
This misconception can feel discouraging, but the truth is that many people with AuDHD build fulfilling careers and meaningful relationships. Success may not always follow the traditional path, but it can take many different and equally valuable forms. Jane, for example, realized she excelled in detail-oriented tasks and creative problem-solving but needed extra support with scheduling and transitions. Many others also find that accommodations such as flexible hours, sensory-friendly environments, or remote work make a meaningful difference. Some people with AuDHD also excel in fields that value focus and creativity. For example, customer service roles can benefit from their ability to notice details and respond authentically. At the same time, creative industries often thrive on the innovation and unique perspective that neurodivergent thinkers bring. When workplaces embrace accommodations like flexible schedules or sensory-friendly spaces, these strengths can shine even more. In relationships, communication may require more patience and clarity, but deep empathy and authenticity are also common strengths. Recognizing what supports are needed, rather than assuming failure, can open the door to fulfilling lives.
Myth 4: “Therapy doesn’t help people with AuDHD.”
Autism and ADHD are lifelong conditions, but that does not mean progress is out of reach. Therapy can make a meaningful difference in daily life. For teens, it provides strategies to stay organized, communicate more effectively, and manage emotions during stressful moments. For parents, therapy offers practical tools to create supportive routines at home, lower daily stress, and guide their teen toward greater independence step by step. Research shows that therapeutic approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based strategies can help individuals with ADHD and autism improve emotional regulation, reduce anxiety, and develop practical coping skills. At The Therapy Nest, our therapists provide personalized sessions for adults, parents, and teens in Halifax, St. John’s, Newfoundland, Fredericton, New Brunswick, and across Atlantic Canada. The goal is not to “fix” AuDHD, but to equip individuals with strategies that make daily life more manageable. Sessions can often focus on establishing effective routines, reducing stress during transitions, improving communication, and strengthening problem-solving skills. These tools help neurodivergent people thrive in environments that are not always designed for them.
“It’s rare, so it’s probably not what you have.”
Because AuDHD is not often talked about, many people assume it must be rare. In reality, awareness is growing quickly. As more adults and parents seek answers, professionals are identifying the overlap more often, bringing greater understanding and validation.The combination of autism and ADHD is also underdiagnosed, particularly in women. Studies show that the commonly quoted male-to-female ratio in autism may underestimate how many women are autistic, since many are not diagnosed until adulthood. Other research has found that nearly 80 percent of women with autism are either misdiagnosed or not diagnosed until adulthood, often because they learn to mask their traits.
When people of any gender do not see themselves reflected in stereotypes, they are less likely to seek an assessment or support. Recognizing that AuDHD may look different in different people is a step toward getting help.
Building Understanding and Support
Living with AuDHD can mean juggling sensory overwhelm, impulsivity, and forgetfulness. With the right strategies, these challenges become more manageable. Simple tools like alarms, planners, visual cues, and sensory-friendly spaces can make routines easier to follow and reduce burnout. Practical tools can make daily life easier to manage. Noise-canceling headphones help reduce sensory overload, weighted blankets can support relaxation, and visual planners or apps like Trello and Notion give structure to tasks. These small adjustments can reduce stress and make it easier to maintain routines. If you are looking for guidance beyond your own home, these organizations provide reliable information and support:
Autism Canada - https://autismcanada.org/
Centre for ADHD Awareness Canada (CADDAC) - https://caddac.ca/
Autism Society of Newfoundland and Labrador (ASNL) - https://asnl.ca/
Government of New Brunswick - Autism Services - https://www2.gnb.ca/content/gnb/en/departments/education/autism.html
Ontario Autism Program (OAP) - https://www.ontario.ca/page/ontario-autism-program
These resources offer education, advocacy, and sometimes direct services for individuals and families navigating autism, ADHD, or both. Breaking tasks into smaller steps and celebrating progress helps growth feel achievable. Support from family, friends, therapists, and community groups provides encouragement and accountability. AuDHD does not mean anything is broken; rather, it involves having a different way of thinking and finding strategies that work.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy provides a supportive space to work through the daily challenges of AuDHD. A therapist can help identify where autism traits and ADHD traits overlap and then create strategies that fit real-life situations. For some people, this means building executive functioning tools such as checklists, planners, or time management systems. For others, it may involve practicing clearer communication with family, friends, or coworkers. Therapy can also focus on breaking cycles of burnout and anxiety, giving individuals more stability and confidence in their day-to-day lives. For adults, therapy often centers on managing work deadlines, balancing home responsibilities, and improving communication in relationships. These areas can be especially challenging when both autism and ADHD traits overlap. With the right strategies, adults can build routines that feel realistic and sustainable, reduce stress in family life, and strengthen the way they connect with partners, coworkers, and friends. Therapy provides not just coping tools but also encouragement and accountability to put them into practice. At The Therapy Nest, we work with clients across Ontario and Atlantic Canada. Whether you are navigating a new diagnosis or supporting a family member with ADHD, therapy can provide tools and reassurance that make daily life more manageable.
You Are Not Alone
For Jane, learning she had AuDHD was the beginning of self-understanding, not the end. It helped her reframe years of struggle as differences rather than failures. With strategies and support, she began building a life that felt more manageable and more her own. If you or someone you love is living with both autism and ADHD, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Support is available. Book an appointment with The Therapy Nest today or reach out to start the conversation.
Chaw Su
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